What is most personal is most universal
How vulnerability is a human connector
Many of us believe that our most personal experiences won’t be understood or appreciated by others. I’ve held this assumption in my writing thinking I need to be an objective “scientist of the psyche” standing outside of experience, studying how people operate, and distilling insights into human transformation.
The result is much of what I have written sounds dry, robotic, and impersonal. This kind of writing is easily overlooked especially in a world where AI can pump it out exponentially quicker than any human. As a writer, the only way you can compete with AI is by sharing your unique lived experience.
I’ve often thought that my experience wouldn’t be helpful to others. That my life isn’t interesting enough or that my problems are somehow not reflective of others' problems. At the core of me not sharing the most vulnerable aspects of myself is a fear of rejection.
When I look closely into this fear it becomes funny because what I’m fearing is that someone will identify with a judgmental thought and label me as inferior in some way. Sometimes this whimsical nature of our fears is harder to see.
There is a part in the Jonah Hill-directed documentary “Stutz” where Hill’s therapist Phil Stutz says:
“Failure, weakness, and vulnerability is like a connector... it connects you to the rest of the world because what you're doing is giving out a signal to the world that says I need you because I can't do this by myself”
Hearing this made me realize that our fear of vulnerability is what keeps us stuck in our struggles. Being too proud to ask for help and trying to get out of the mud by yourself is a surefire way to keep spinning your tires. The truth is I can use a little push.
As I work to find my writer’s voice your feedback is highly appreciated. I’d love to hear about some of the challenges you are facing in your personal development and what topics you would like to learn more about. I especially encourage constructive criticism. Knowing what doesn’t work can be as important as knowing what does work.
A lot of what I planned to share on this blog were theories and frameworks and I still want to do that but I also want to ground that in my lived experience including my fears, dreams, triumphs, and struggles.
As the psychologist Carl Rogers once wrote:
“That what is most personal and unique in each one of us is probably the very element which would, if it were shared or expressed, speak most deeply to others.”
May we all have the courage to be vulnerable and trust that our unique perspective can be a benefit to the world.
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