👁️ Top Insights #128 - Reflecting on 2024 in the Timeless Now
My favorite books, articles, & podcasts of 2024 + going deeper into Dharma/Inner Work, meeting online friends in IRL, powerful parenting principles & so much more.
“Top Insights” is a monthly newsletter that shares mind-expanding podcasts, transformational frameworks, and insightful links that help you go beyond conventional development.
Welcome to the January 2025 edition of Top Insights 🐍
May this year of the snake bring you depth of wisdom, intuition, and transformation.
This edition of Top Insights is a re-cap and reflection of 2024 including my top articles, podcasts, and books.
Going Deeper into Dharma & Inner Work
In 2024 I continued the trend of going deeper into meditation, dharma, and psychological work.
I started the year with a 6-day meditation retreat in January at Kadampa Temple. Located in the breathtaking Catskills, the Temple is gorgeous and awe-inspiring however, I didn’t resonate with what felt like a dogmatic and renunciate rendition of the Buddhist teachings. I opted out of most of the teaching sessions and spent the majority of my time meditating alone in my room. While I felt I was able to go deeper into my practice I now recognize the importance of working with a teacher and tradition where there is deep resonance. When we feel trust our protector parts can relax and we can more easily open to the teachings.
In April I did two two-day Evolving Ground retreat in NYC with
and Jared Janes. I enjoyed meeting Charlie, Jared and many of the eG members I knew from our online interactions.In July I did a 3-day online retreat Working with Emotions retreat with Lama Lena. Lama Lena is another profound teacher I discovered in the last year and I feel blessed to get the opportunity to learn from her.
In September I did a two-day Liberating Shadows Workshop in NYC with Charlie Awbery. I appreciate the perspective Charlie brings to dharma and the community-based learning they facilitate at Evolving Ground.
I finished the year strong by participating in a 6-day online intermediate Mahamudra retreat in December via Rigdzin and Dustin Diperna. Over the last 3 years, I consider Dustin to be my main teacher. It’s been wonderful to see his Rigdzin Sangha blossom, expanding its offerings and providing new opportunities to connect with other members.
I hosted a handful of Circing sessions although I spent much less time Circling than I have in the previous years. This was due to me spending more time on coaching clients, attending Evolving Ground community sessions and meditation check-ins via Rigdzin.
Throughout the year, I continued doing my own healing work with a Level 3 IFS practitioner and I look forward to expanding that exploration in 2025.
Coaching Chronicles👂
Even in my rapper days, I would find myself inadvertently “coaching” people on how to make better decisions and live more wholesome lives.
When people around me were drinking & smoking I was getting high on awareness.
Despite feeling that coaching could be a meaningful lane for me, I resisted stepping into that role for many years due to the negative associations I held around it.
I’ve since moved past those limiting beliefs and accepted that coaching is at least one type of work I’m strongly wired for.
At the end of 2023, I finished the 8-month Aletheia coach training program.
In 2024 I worked with over a dozen people in coaching engagements.
It has been a fruitful learning experience, helping people explore their inner worlds and leaning into my own developmental edges in the process.
I want to continue coaching this year and currently have three slots I’m looking to fill.
These sessions can help you if you want to:
Improve the quality of your relationships
Gain confidence around decision-making and uncertainty
Get support around a particular challenge or developmental edge
If you’re interested you can fill out this short form.
Meeting Online Friends IRL 👥
It’s become an eerie fact that I often find more meaning and connection online than I do in real life.
A highlight of 2024 was bringing these two worlds together.
I met many people from the Evolving Ground community and had a chance to grab lunch with the founders Charlie & Jared.
We had some good food & good convo and I will never forget how much Charlie was enjoying their Turkish coffee.
They are truly an exemplar of enjoyment and appreciation.
I also got to meet my friend Kevin Triplett (from the Emergent Commons community).
It was a delight to have lunch together on two separate occasions when he visited Brooklyn.
I also had dinner with Charity who is a teaching assistant in the Ridzgin Sangha and Robin who is another member of the community.
Finally, my wife & I grabbed brunch with Camilla & her wife Aike two other members of the Rigdzin Sangha.
I increasingly feel that Rigdzin is my spiritual home so it’s been really special connecting with other members in 3D.
I look forward to meeting more online friends in real life this year.
Figuring Out Finances 💸
One of the big challenges of 2024 was dealing with increasing financial responsibilities - between mortgage, daycare, private school, and other family expenses I often felt stretched.
I’ve spent the last 3 years working within my wife’s psychotheray business but this year it became clear that I would need to generate additional income.
Coaching was a potential avenue for that but it didn’t bring in nearly enough to close the gap.
I applied for dozens of jobs but that also didn’t bear any fruit.
I minimized going out, skipped out on several courses/trainings, and somehow managed to scrape by.
Finances were one of the many threads that came together this year to cause a lot of havoc in my psychological space.
Thankfully my parents helped cover my Parts Work sessions, which were a much-needed light in some of my darkest moments.
I’m also grateful to Dustin & Rigdzin for providing me with a highly discounted rate for the intermediate Mahamudra retreat.
To know that finances will never be a barrier to going deeper into the dharma fills me with light and ease.
After much brainstorming, it looks like I may be able to take on another role in my wife’s business this year which will help alleviate this financial burden while I figure out other ways to generate income.
I truly feel for those who walk the unconventional path around career.
As hard as it can be sometimes, I trust that eventually, the perseverance will pay off.
Family Life & Parenting 🧑🧑🧒🧒
As a father of two young children being a parent and family man is a central role in my life.
This year my oldest son started kindergarden.
My wife and I both went to public school in NYC so we already knew the bleak reality of the education provided in this system and it was clearly reflected in the many open houses that we attended.
Mainstream schooling doesn’t understand child development nor does it have the ability to cater to the uniqueness of each student.
We ended up finding a private school that in our estimations was miles above all the public schools we visited.
Small classes with multiple teachers, individualized learning approaches, no grades, and ran by people that seem to understand how children develop and learn.
We’ve had a good experience thus far but it doesn’t exactly fit our vision for educating our children.
While there isn’t the same pressure to be on time that exists in public schools, the day still starts early which creates an element of rushing in the morning.
There is less of the rigrouous academic nonsense that so many schools try to use as a selling point but I still suspect there is more structure and left-brain learning than is ideal for a 5 year old.
From my understanding right brain development is essential in the early years and prioritizing reading/writing/math over more creative/play-based acitivities can undercut that development.
Finally, this school comes with a hefty price tag which adds to the financial pressure we feel.
These are some of the reasons why my wife and I are exploring the idea of homeschooling our son next year.
We aren’t exactly sure how we will make it work but it does feel like the right move for us.
Aside from schooling there are many other aspects of parenting that take immense energy.
Feeding, dressing, bathing, and most of all managing emotions.
I apperciate the work of Dr. Becky Kennedy who advocates for a parenting approach that acknowledges & validates feelings while setting approriate boundaries.
I think these two aspects speak to what lies at the core of healthy parenting.
Another person whose thoughts on parenting I find inspiring is Ari Nielsen, a long-time meditation practioner and apprentice at Evolving Ground, who was also a guest on my podcast.
Ari’s approach feels like a mix of taking kid’s seriously, unschooling and a radical trust that the child will find their way.
He homeschool his daughter for most of her life, and from what has shared of her journey it seems like shes been blossoming in a beautiful way.
Below are some parenting principles Ari whipped up based on Evolving Ground fundamentals:
Receptive Presence
Being fully present and receptive to children's thoughts, feelings, and desires.
“If you don’t like the direction things are going, the base of communicating an alternate vision is complete acceptance of the way things are going.”
Ethical Maturity
Respecting children's autonomy and treat them as agential beings.
“The only bright line is fundamental safety.”
Personal Autonomy
Acknowledging children's right to make their own choices and learn from their experiences.
“Even when I disagree with your choice, I support your choice. We do not have to have a common point-of-view.”
Spacious Involvement
Providing a supportive framework for children to explore their interests and make decisions without having a prescribed outcome.
“Parenting is a relationship, not a method”.
Active Responsibility
Taking active responsibility by engaging in dialogue and problem-solving with children, ensuring that decisions are made collaboratively and consider everyone's well-being.
"How can we make this work?"
Self-Possibility
Nurturing the limitless potential within each child. Not reifying any role.
"You can do what you *can* do."
Fluidity
Having a flexible and adaptive approach to parenting, open to change and responsive to their children's evolving needs and perspectives.
"Continual release of fixed ideas about how to interact."
Integrity
Integrity is central. This foundation of trust and transparency strengthens relationships and promotes a culture of mutual respect.
"This impacts me significantly, and I don't want what you want in this case. Let's explore possibilities."
Powerfulness
Supporting children’s ability to think, decide, and act independently.
"I will support you in your decisions."
I love these principles and hope to integrate them more into my parenting this year.
The Life of a Creator: Podcasting & Writing 🎙️ ✍️
Becoming a full-time creator would be a dream come true and although I’m a long way from that I appreciate the support I have received thus far.
This year I finally moved my newsletter and blog over to substack which has resulted in a handful of people becoming paid subscribers.
For now, all of my content is available for free to everyone but I am brainstorming ways of how I can add even more value to paid subscribers.
If you’d like to support the creation of this publication and my podcast you can become a paid member by clicking the button below.
Aside from creating this newsletter, I have also been writing more in-depth pieces.
Below are my three favorite articles that I released this year:
Becoming Developmentally Aware - Introduction to Developmental Stage Theories
Deep Inner Work - How to Develop an Effective Ecology of Practices
The Art of Healing: Fragmentation and the Movement Towards Wholeness
There are few things I have done that have felt as meaningful as creating a podcast.
It’s a project that has pushed my developmental edge, expanded my perspective, and allowed me to connect with many fascinating people.
When I started the podcast I aimed to release two episodes a month.
At the time it felt like a doable number and one that would keep the momentum going.
This year I released 10 episodes.
As much as I want my podcast to grow the most important thing for me is the integrity of what I’m creating.
I realize when I focus too much on metrics it diminishes my enjoyment.
Now that I have recorded over 50 episodes I’m looking forward to slowing down, digesting my learnings and allowing conversations to blossom organically.
A big win was finally landing philosopher of mind Bernardo Kastrup on my podcast.
The interview was the most watched I have done and one of my favorites.
Below are my 3 favorite Elevating Consciousness podcast episodes from 2024:
Cadell Last - Global Brain Singularity and the Future of Philosophy
Bonnitta Roy - Transforming Perception Through Process Relational Philosophy
What I Read & Listened to 🤓 📚 🎧
I started over 100 books in 2024.
Below is a list of the 16 I finished (minus business books) with my top 3 listed at the end.
Healing Developmental Trauma by Laurence Heller - Unpacks the NueroAffective Relational Model (NARM) for healing trauma. It’s well-written, comprehensive, and a book I would recommend for anyone trying to go deeper into healing work. A central insight is that people both want and fear connection/intimacy.
Friends: Understanding the Power of Our Most Important Relationships by Robin Dunbar - This book is heavy on scientific studies which at times made it a dry read but it does illuminate many fascinating insights on friendships. For example, your happiness, smoking habits, or obesity risk are not only influenced by your close friends but also by the behaviors of your friends' friends. Friendships fade surprisingly quickly when not maintained. A friendship's emotional closeness can drop a full layer (e.g., from best friend to casual friend) within six months of separation. Entering a romantic relationship tends to cost an individual two friendships, as the time and energy spent on the new relationship is reallocated from other connections.
Shock Amazement by Ngakpa Chogyam and Khandro Dechen - Explores the view and practice of Dzogchen which by many is considered the pinnacle of Vajrayana Buddhism. There are more Tibetan terms to track than I would like but otherwise, this is a very clear and concise work.
The Desire Map by Danielle Laporte - This one felt a bit new-agey for my taste but it kept my attention and had some powerful quotes and aphorisms peppered throughout. It concludes with a workbook that could be a useful exploration to undertake especially at the start of the new year.
Embrace Your Inner Critic by Hal Stone & Sidra Stone - A cornerstone piece in the Inner critic literature. Feels slow and repetitive at times but if you want to find better ways of working with your Inner Critic look no further.
The Citadel of Awareness by Anam Thubten - Another book on Dzogchen, this one I read as part of the Evolving Ground book club. Maybe it’s my Western mind but I prefer the writings of Keith Dowman, Ken McLeod, or Ngakpa Chogyam & Khandro Dechen for that matter.
The Flight of the Garuda translated by Keith Dowman - Four primary texts from the Dzogchen tradition masterfully translated by Keith Dowman. Poetic, penetrating, and potent.
Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman - A sort of anti-productivity productivity book. You can read my top insights from this book here.
Global Brain Singularity by Cadell Last - This was a dense/technical but also highly insightful work that I read in preparation for my conversation with Cadell. It explores the evolution of humans towards a distributed, planetary-scale intelligence. My favorite chapter was the one on dialectical thinking, but I also appreciate Cadell’s thoughts on non-monism, creating a global commons, and post-capitalism. It’s an expensive book but Cadell generously offers to send a free pdf version for anyone who reaches out to him.
The Nine Theories of Religion by Daniel L. Pals - Explores religion through the eyes of nine seminal thinkers. I most enjoyed the chapter on William James and Mircea Eliade. The key insight is that religion is a highly complex phenomenon that can be understood in many ways.
First Principles and First Values by David J. Temple - Argues that value is fundamental to reality and provides a potential framework out of post-modern relativism. There are some important points here but it also felt repetitive at times.
Working Identity by Herminia Ibarra—This book caught my attention when I was considering getting another job. The central idea is that we often become identified with our current work and then have a hard time imagining that we can step into a different role. I’m interested in the phenomenon of identity, and this was a fascinating exploration of its role in work and career.
The Archetype of Initiation by Robert L. Moore - I found this to be a very engaging and enjoyable read that is a runner-up to my three favorites. It explores ritual, initiation, and the notion of liminal space - a necessary transitional phase of true transformation.
My 3 favorite books I read in 2024:
Wake Up to Your Life by Ken McLeod - Condenses the practices/teachings of the infamous Tibetan Buddhist three-year retreat which Ken has done twice in his life. It’s funny because I read this book slowly over a three-year period and finally finished at the end of last year. Ken is a profound teacher & WUTYL is one of the best dharma books I ever read. I look forward to reading his other works this year.
Already Free by Bruce Tift - One of the best explorations of the relationship between healing/psychological work and awakening. It also has many insights into relationships and what it takes to become an emotionally mature adult. It’s no surprise that with over 500 reviews this book has a 4.8 rating on Amazon. I have and will continue to return to this one many times over.
The Religious Case Against Belief by James Carse - If you think religion is dogmatic belief this book will make you think again. Carse argues that religion can’t properlly be defined as there is no consensus definition amongst religious scholars. Despite this lack of a coherent definition we can still speak of religion and recognize that the core of the great traditions is their abiity to bring people into a relationship with an inexahustible mystery.
My Favorite Podcasts that I listened to in 2024:
It would be cool if I could track which podcasts I spent the most time listening but when I reflect there are three that seem to stand out in my mind.
Wisdom of the Masters - Created by Buddhist nun Samaneri Jayasara, WOTM is less a podcast and more a compliation of dharma through a wide range of traditions and teachers. Every stream consists of a spiritual teaching read in Jayasara’s enchanting voice layered over awe-inspiring music. I have found myself frequently returning to these teachings & meditations as a way to enrich and enliven my practice.
The Emerald - Created by Josh Schrei, The Emerald is one of the most unique podcasts I have ever come across. Blending storytelling, poetry and music Josh explores some of the most pressing issues in today’s world through a lens of animism and mythology. I look forward to listening to more episodes this year.
Creator Science - While this one is off the track of spirituality, I have found Jay Clouse’s Creator Science to be one of the most insightful resources for creators. If your committed to making a living off of content there are few other shows that provide this level of value.
Quintessential Quote ✍️
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
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